Lesson 39: Discovering Hidden Innovators, Drafting an Essay, Part 2

Turn and Talk

Students reconnect with their draft and shift their focus from initial writing to strengthening and completing it. This section emphasizes that finalizing a draft means ensuring all parts are present, ideas are clearly explained, and writing maintains a consistent academic tone. Students reflect on how informal language, weak connections, or incomplete sections can limit clarity. By the end of this section, students are prepared to revise with purpose and move toward a complete, coherent draft.

Have students take out their draft from homework, their Research Notes, and their organizers. Students turn to a shoulder partner.

Say these Directions: Turn and talk with a partner to discuss your response to the question.

• Ask: What usually makes a first draft sound less formal than a final draft?

  • A first draft can sound less formal when it uses vague words, repeated simple sentences, or casual phrases. It can also lose consistency when one part sounds academic while another sounds conversational.

Connection to Today's Learning

• Say: Today, your goal is to finalize your draft so it is complete, clear, and ready for revision. By the end of this lesson, you should have a full, informative research essay draft and a complete argument paragraph that uses formal academic language and clearly explains your ideas. You will focus on improving tone, precision, and how well your ideas connect across sentences and paragraphs.

This Language Study teaches students how to revise informal or conversational language into formal academic writing by using nominalization, precise word choice, and consistent tone. This section builds their ability to express ideas clearly and professionally, which is essential for informative research writing. Students practice transforming everyday phrasing into language that emphasizes contribution, significance, and impact. By the end of this section, students will be equipped to revise their own sentences so that their writing sounds more authoritative and cohesive.

Language Study

Display and read aloud this mentor sentence from the section of Hidden Figures in which Dorothy Vaughan learns FORTRAN and prepares for NASA’s shift to new computer technology:

• Dorothy Vaughan learned FORTRAN so she could help NASA move to the new IBM computer.

Let’s examine how this sentence could sound in an informative research essay. An informative research essay needs language that sounds formal and precise, not casual or conversational.

• Say: One way writers make their tone more academic is through nominalization. That means turning an action word into a thing or idea we can discuss in a more formal way. For example, instead of saying someone contributed, a writer might refer to that person’s contribution. Instead of saying an achievement should be recognized, a writer might write about that achievement’s recognition.

Teach: Academic Tone Through Nominalization and Formal Diction

• Say: My first version sounds like talking: Dorothy learned FORTRAN so she could help NASA move to the new IBM computer. That sentence makes sense, but for an informative research essay I want the language to sound more formal and more exact. I can turn the action learned into the noun study and the action move into the noun transition. Now I can revise the sentence to say: “Dorothy Vaughan’s study of FORTRAN supported NASA’s transition to the IBM computer.” This version sounds stronger because it names the work as an important contribution instead of sounding like casual conversation. I can use the same move in my own draft when I want my writing to sound more authoritative and polished.

Display the Revised Mentor Sentence:

• Dorothy Vaughan’s study of FORTRAN supported NASA’s transition to the IBM computer.

Display the following Word Shifts:

• contribute → contribution

• recognize → recognition

• discover → discovery

• decide → decision

Display the following Everyday-to-Academic Shifts:

• helped a lot → significantly supported

• got credit → received recognition

• changed things → transformed the field

• showed → demonstrated

• figured out → determined

Say these Directions: Now look at one sentence in your own draft that sounds like conversation. Rewrite it so it includes at least one formal word choice and one nominalization. If your sentence says helped, you might revise it to contribution or support. If your sentence says got credit, you might revise it to received recognition.

• Ask: Which sentence sounds more like an informative research essay, and why? “She helped NASA a lot,” or “Dorothy Vaughan’s contribution significantly supported NASA’s transition to new technology.”

  • The second sentence sounds more like an informative research essay because it uses more precise words and a more formal tone. It names her contribution clearly and explains the impact in a way that sounds academic.

Connection to Today's Learning

• Say: You just revised one sentence to sound more like an informative research essay. Next, keep that same academic tone as you continue drafting both your informative research essay and your argument paragraph.

Part A: Strengthen the Informative Research Draft (W.6.2) (18 minutes)

Students draft and complete their informative research essay by organizing ideas into fully developed paragraphs that include a clear topic sentence, relevant evidence, and explanation of significance. This section emphasizes cohesion, requiring students to connect ideas using transitions and maintain a consistent formal tone. Students also ensure that all parts of the essay are present and aligned with their thesis. By the end of this section, students produce a more complete and coherent draft that clearly explains the innovator’s contribution and its importance.

Have students place their Essay Outline next to their draft and Research Notes.

Teach:

• Say: I already drafted part of my essay, but one paragraph still sounds uneven. My topic sentence is clear, yet the evidence sentences feel like notes placed next to each other. I want to connect them with stronger transitions and clearer explanation. I can add furthermore to show another supporting detail or consequently to explain a result. I also need to make sure my tone stays academic, so I will revise any casual sentence before I keep drafting. That way, the paragraph develops ideas smoothly instead of sounding patched together.

Say these Directions: Continue drafting and revising your informative research essay. By the end of this time, your draft should include:

• a complete introduction with a thesis

• at least two body paragraphs with evidence and explanation

• a clear explanation of the innovator’s contribution and its significance

You may find that you are revising as you draft. If that is the case, be sure to focus on:

• replacing informal language with precise academic diction

• using transitions to connect ideas across sentences

• explaining your evidence by answering “What does this show?”

• maintaining a consistent formal tone across paragraphs

• Say: As you revise, focus on one paragraph at a time. First, check that the paragraph includes a clear topic sentence, evidence, and explanation. Then revise the language so it sounds formal and precise. Finally, add or improve transitions so the ideas connect smoothly.

Students should complete a draft that includes an introduction and multiple body paragraphs with logically connected ideas and well-explained evidence. Their writing should demonstrate improved cohesion, clearer explanation, and consistent academic tone. This draft serves as a strong foundation for final revision and presentation preparation.

Part B: Sharpen the Argument Paragraph (W.6.1) (12 minutes)

Students revise and finalize their argument paragraph by strengthening the clarity of their claim, selecting the most effective evidence, and clearly explaining how that evidence supports recognition. This section helps students refine their reasoning and ensure their argument is focused and persuasive. Students also revise for tone, replacing informal phrasing with precise academic language. By the end of this section, students will produce a concise and well-supported argument paragraph.

Have students place the Argumentative Essay organizer beside their draft.

Your argumentative paragraph should:

• state a clear claim that the innovator deserves recognition

• use evidence from your research to support your claim

• explain how the evidence shows the importance of their contribution

• use formal, persuasive language

Say these Directions: Continue drafting and revising your argument paragraph. First, reread your claim and ask whether it clearly states that your innovator deserves recognition. Then check your evidence and decide if it is the strongest example you have. If not, replace it with a stronger one. Finally, revise your explanation so it clearly shows how the evidence supports your claim.

Make sure your paragraph includes:

• a clear recognition claim

• one strong, relevant piece of evidence

• an explanation that directly connects the evidence to the claim

• formal academic language

Think-Pair-Share

Say these Directions: Share your revised argument paragraph with a partner. Explain why you chose your evidence and how it supports your claim. Listen to your partner and suggest one way they can strengthen their explanation or improve their tone.

Students should produce a clear, complete argument paragraph that includes a focused claim, strong evidence, and a direct explanation of its significance. Their writing should reflect formal tone and logical reasoning. This prepares them to integrate their argument into their overall performance task.

Checklist

Provide students with a confidence continuum (i.e., 1–5). As needed, model how to demonstrate a level of confidence using the continuum.

Turn and Talk

Students use the Performance Task success criteria to evaluate their draft for idea development, use of evidence, tone, and explanation of recognition. They identify one criterion they have met and one they still need to strengthen. By the end, students name a specific revision step aligned to that criterion.

Say these Directions: Turn and talk with your partner about one success criterion you want to strengthen during revision. Refer to the Performance Task handout.

• I will focus on explaining my evidence more clearly by adding a sentence that explains why it matters.

Optional Sentence Starter:

I plan to ___ because ___.

Instruct students to complete their drafts.