Lesson 39: Becoming the Apprentice, Draft an Explanatory Essay, Part 2

Say These Directions: Before we move into drafting body paragraphs today, let’s strengthen the introductions you drafted for homework. You’ll give your partner specific feedback using labels and sentence frames.

Have students take out the introductory paragraphs they drafted for homework and exchange them with a partner.

After reading the paragraphs, partners should use the following prompts to give feedback.

• Say: Identify the hook, the background knowledge, and the thesis. Mark these parts of the draft with H for hook, B for background, and T for thesis.

• Say: Describe two things your partner did well. You may use these sentence frames:

  • “One thing I liked about your introduction paragraph is ____.”

  • “Another thing you did well is ____.”

• Say: Give feedback on one area of improvement. You may use this sentence frame:

  • “One way to improve your introduction paragraph might be ____.”

Solicit any questions or challenges students may still have about writing introduction paragraphs. Clarify and address as needed.

Connection to Today’s Learning

• Say: Now that you’ve finished drafting your introduction paragraph, the next step is to draft your body paragraphs. You’ll start this process during today’s lesson.

Using Transitions

• Say: In writing and speaking, a transition is a word or phrase that shows a relationship. Writers use transitions to present information in a way that readers can easily understand. Earlier in the unit, you learned about temporal connectors, or transitional words or phrases that show the relationship between the order of events or steps in a process.

• Ask: What are some examples of temporal connectors?

  • before, first, second, third, next, then, after that, last, finally

• Say: Writers use transitional words and phrases to show other types of relationships, too.

  • Cause–effect: as a result, because, since, therefore, for that reason

  • Compare/contrast: although, yet, but, despite, however, in contrast, on the other hand, though, at the same time, unlike

  • To show examples: for example, for instance, to illustrate, shows that

  • To build on or connect related ideas: additionally, in addition, also, furthermore, another

Display these sentences without transitions.

• In Chapter 1, Tree-ear quietly observes as Min “inspect[s] [the vase] for invisible faults.” Min is very particular about his work.

• Say: Writers use transitions to show connections between ideas within a paragraph. These two sentences are related; however, without a transition, the relationship is not very clear.

• Ask: What are some ways we could revise this sentence to show a relationship using transitions that show examples?

  • • In Chapter 1, Tree-ear quietly observes as Min “inspect[s] [the vase] for invisible faults.” This moment is just one example of how particular Min is about his work.

  • In Chapter 1, Tree-ear quietly observes as Min “inspect[s] [the vase] for invisible faults,” a moment that illustrates just how particular Min is about his work.

Display these paragraphs without transitions.

• The stages of learning and mentorship are an important part of the plot of A Single Shard. The main character, Tree-ear, learns the trade of pottery by observing masters and other skilled craftspeople, trying new skills and sometimes failing at them, and refining his learning to the point where he is ready to create something on his own. Through this process, Tree-ear receives mentorship from Min, a master potter in his village. Although Min is not a perfect mentor, his knowledge and skills are very important to Tree-ear’s evolution from beginner to skilled creator.

• "Hands That Remember: Eight Artists Who Make Things by Hand" explores the important connection between learning, apprenticeship, and mentorship. The article describes how eight artists from around the world learned their unique crafts by watching masters, practicing over many years, and eventually passing their knowledge on to others.

• Say: Writers also use transitions to show connections between paragraphs across an entire text. These two paragraphs are related; however, without a transition, the relationship is not very clear.

• Ask: What transitional words or phrases could we add to the second paragraph to make the relationship between these paragraphs clearer?

  • likewise, similarly, in a similar way, also shows, additionally, another

Say These Directions: Work with a partner to revise the second paragraph, using a transitional word or phrase to show how the two paragraphs are connected.

Invite two or three pairs to share their responses with the class.

• Like the novel A Single Shard, "Hands That Remember: Eight Artists Who Make Things by Hand" explores the important connection between learning, apprenticeship, and mentorship.

• Similarly, "Hands That Remember: Eight Artists Who Make Things by Hand" explores the important connection between learning, apprenticeship, and mentorship.

• Additionally, "Hands That Remember: Eight Artists Who Make Things by Hand" offers another perspective on the important connection between learning, apprenticeship, and mentorship.

Say These Directions: When drafting your essay, add at least one transition to your draft body paragraph to show a clear relationship between ideas.

Connection to Today’s Learning

• Say: As you draft body paragraphs for your explanatory essay, think about ways you can use transitional words and phrases to show connections between ideas within each paragraph and between paragraphs.

Part A: Drafting Body Paragraphs (W.6.2.a-c, W.6.9) (20 minutes)

Have students take out their Gathering Evidence, Paired Text Analysis, and Research Essay Outline graphic organizers.

• Say: Use the evidence you’ve gathered and the body paragraph outline you created during Lesson 38 to continue drafting your essay.

Tell students that this is a first draft that will be revised later, so it’s more important to get all the ideas down than to make it perfect. Let them know that they can finish drafting their body paragraphs for homework if they do not have time today.

• Say: Draft at least one complete body paragraph that includes a topic sentence, two pieces of evidence, and an explanation of how the evidence supports your thesis. Try your best to finish your first draft today. Remember, a first draft isn’t supposed to be perfect. It just needs to show all your ideas. You can continue to work on this for homework tonight if you do not finish it during class.

Part B: Outline Conclusion Paragraphs (W.6.2.a-c, W.6.9) (10 minutes)

Transition students to a mini-lesson about drafting conclusions.

• Say: The conclusion paragraph is the last paragraph of your essay. It is not a summary of your writing. Instead, it is a synthesis that brings all of your ideas together to help the reader answer the question “Why should I care?”

Share with students steps to help them write their conclusions.

• Say: First, revisit your introduction paragraph. Ask yourself, “What is the thesis of my essay? How can I restate this idea in a new way? What did I use as my hook? Is there a way to resolve this for readers?” Second, revisit your body paragraphs. What are the big takeaways that readers should have?

Display the example introduction paragraph from Lesson 38.

• What does it take to learn something difficult? In the novel A Single Shard, Tree-ear, a young boy living in 12th-century Korea, seeks to learn how to make pottery, a craft that is traditionally passed down from father to son in his village of Ch'ulp'o. Meanwhile, real-life artist Esther Mahlangu set out to master a different tradition: Ndebele mural painting, a craft she began learning from her mother and grandmother when she was about nine years old in Mpumalanga, South Africa. For both Tree-ear and Mahlangu, the answer to this question is simple: learning something difficult takes time, effort, and mentorship. The novel A Single Shard and the article "Hands That Remember: Eight Artists Who Make Things by Hand" show how the stages of learning and mentorship help learners develop into skilled craftspeople.

• Say: In this introduction paragraph, the thesis argues that A Single Shard and the article show how the stages of learning and mentorship help learners develop into skilled craftspeople. I used a thought-provoking question as my hook. In my conclusion paragraph, I could answer this question with a restatement of my thesis. The body paragraphs of the explanatory essay describe the stages of learning and mentorship in the novel and the article. I can use this information to help me write my conclusion.

  • Model: Learning a new skill is not always easy, especially without the knowledge and guidance of someone with more experience. For Tree-ear and artist Esther Mahlangu, the process of developing from a learner to a skilled craftsperson was made possible by mentors. In A Single Shard, Tree-ear progressed through the stages of learning, including observing, trying, failing, refining, and creating, to learn and carry on the proud tradition of pottery from Min. Mahlangu went through her own learning process to master Ndebele mural painting, eventually expanding the tradition to new audiences and becoming a mentor in her own right. Together, these texts show that through mentorship and practice, anyone can grow from a beginner to a skilled creator.

  • Say: Remember, your conclusion should not introduce new evidence. It should bring your ideas together and explain their significance.

Have students use the remaining class time to begin drafting their conclusion paragraphs. Students may choose to outline their paragraphs using the Research Essay Outline graphic organizer they worked on during Lesson 32.

Quick Write

Say These Directions: Complete the two parts of the Quick Write.

• Say: Open your body paragraph draft. Underline one transition you used, and label the relationship it shows (cause–effect, compare/contrast, example, or addition).

• Say: Write the first sentence of your conclusion paragraph. It should return to your hook and begin restating your thesis in new words.

Instruct students to continue drafting their explanatory essays in their Journal. Students should focus on completing their body and conclusion paragraphs, using evidence from their texts to support their ideas.