Lesson 42: Argument Essay: Improving Flow and Tone

Turn and Talk

Say these Directions: In the previous lessons, we revised our drafts for evidence, flow, and pushback. Today, we are going to focus on the glue that helps readers follow our thinking from sentence to sentence. This matters because our final performance task needs an argument that sounds polished, connected, and convincing.

Take a look at two versions of the same paragraph, and answer the question that follows.

• Version 1: Many communities face housing barriers. Research shows that exclusionary zoning laws limit where lower-income families can afford to live. These barriers affect school access and transportation. Communities need policy changes.

• Version 2: Many communities face housing barriers. For example, research shows that exclusionary zoning laws limit where lower-income families can afford to live. As a result, these barriers affect school access and transportation. For these reasons, communities need policy changes.

• Ask: What is different about how these two paragraphs feel? Which phrases were added to the second version? What did those phrases accomplish?

  • The second paragraph feels smoother and easier to follow because the transitions show how each idea connects. In the first paragraph, the ideas are there, but they feel abrupt. The phrases “for example,” “as a result,” and “for these reasons” help me track the writer’s thinking.

Connection to Today's Learning

• Say: Today, we will study how transitions do different jobs so we can revise our own essays with more control and clearer flow.

Use the mentor sentence from A Raisin in the Sun to connect today’s revision work back to the unit’s central study of dreams and barriers to opportunity.

Language Study

Say these Directions: We are going to look at one of Mama’s lines from the play and study how a writer can build clear connections around it. A transition is a word or phrase that shows the relationship between ideas, and strong argumentative writing uses different transitions for different jobs.

Display p. 93, and direct students to read Mama’s line beginning with “Them houses they put up” and ending with “other houses.”

Target Sentence

“MAMA: Them houses they put up for colored in them areas way out all seem to cost twice as much as other houses” (p. 93).

• Say: Try using the phrase “As a result” in a sentence following this evidence to make a comment about unfair housing practices in the setting (time and place) of A Raisin in the Sun.

Display the following transition chart for reference throughout the lesson:

• Say: Before I can use these transitions to make my ideas smoother, I need to make sure I am clear on the meaning of the text and how I want to use it to support my thoughts. The following chart shows the original text versus what the lines mean in a simpler way.

• Say: When I read Mama’s sentence, I notice that it gives me strong evidence, but by itself, it does not explain how the evidence fits into an argument. So I ask, “What job does my next sentence need to do?”

  • If I want to show cause and effect, I might add, “As a result, Black families had fewer fair chances to build wealth through homeownership.”

  • If I want to introduce pushback, I might write, “Some may argue that housing prices were just economic; however, Mama’s words show the pattern was unequal and racialized.”

  • If I want to conclude, I could say, “Ultimately, this evidence demonstrates that housing systems blocked opportunity instead of offering it fairly.”

• Say: Good writers do not add transitions just to sound fancy; they choose them to show the exact relationship between ideas.

Part A: Find the Gaps in Flow (W.7.5) (15 minutes)

Students should work independently first so they can hear the rough spots in their own drafts. Then they can compare choices with a partner.

Checklist Reviews

Say these Directions: Reread one body paragraph, your counterclaim/rebuttal section, and your conclusion. Use a highlighter to mark any place where the writing jumps too fast, sounds abrupt, or does not clearly show how one sentence connects to the next.

• Say: I am going to model this with a draft paragraph. I notice that one sentence gives evidence from a source, and the next sentence jumps straight to a solution. That feels abrupt because the reader cannot tell whether I am adding more evidence, explaining a result, or shifting to a new idea. So I stop and label the job I need: cause and effect. Then I add a phrase like As a result or This means that and reread the paragraph to check whether the logic sounds clearer. Good revision starts with noticing where the reader could get lost.

• Ask: Which two places in your draft feel abrupt or disconnected, and what job does each transition need to do? Which word, phrase, and or clause could you add to make the transitions smoother?

  • In my second body paragraph, I move from a statistic about unequal school funding straight to my solution, so I need a cause-and-effect transition like as a result. In my rebuttal section, I answer a counterclaim without clearly signaling the shift, so I need a contrast transition like however. Those spots have the ideas already, but they need clearer connections.

Part B: Revise for Flow and Formal Tone (W.7.1.c, W.7.1.e) (15 minutes)

Students should revise independently first, then read one revised section to a partner for feedback on clarity and tone.

Display the following writing model if needed for support and guidance:

Black workers trying to enter stable careers often face barriers that go beyond individual effort. According to a U.S. Department of Labor source, apprenticeship programs can increase access to training and wages. Furthermore, these programs matter because they create a pathway into skilled work without requiring the same financial risk as a four-year degree. Some may argue that job success depends only on personal choices. However, access to fair hiring, transportation, and training affects who can actually reach those opportunities. Ultimately, expanding equitable pathways into employment would make opportunities more realistic for more people.

Rehearse and Refine

Say these Directions: Revise at least three places in your essay where the reader needs a clearer connection or transition. At least one revision should address your counterclaim or rebuttal, and at least one revision should strengthen your conclusion or explanation.

Use the Peer Feedback Form with a partner to spot the places where transitions could connect ideas in logical ways.

• Say: When I revise for final polish, I am not just dropping in transition words randomly. I reread the sentence before and after the spot I marked, and I ask what the reader needs to understand. If I am moving into a counterclaim, I need a phrase that signals disagreement is coming. If I am explaining why evidence matters, I need a phrase that shows cause and effect or builds on the evidence. Then I check tone by making sure the sentence still sounds formal and focused, not conversational or repetitive. Strong transitional words, phrases, and clauses help the argument sound thoughtful, not stitched together.’

• Say: When I revise my conclusion, I am not just copying my introduction. Instead, I am restating my claim in different words, bringing my evidence back together so the reader can see the bigger pattern, and explaining why my argument matters by connecting it to fairness, dignity, and opportunity.

• Ask: Which revision are you most likely to make first, and how will that transition improve your reader’s understanding?

  • I am going to revise my rebuttal first because right now it starts too suddenly. I want to add “while it is true that” to introduce the other side and “however” to answer it. That will help the reader see that I am acknowledging pushback and then responding with evidence.

Say these Directions: As you revise, check your work for these three things:

• Did I show the relationship between ideas clearly?

• Did I use at least one transition in my counterclaim or rebuttal?

• Do my revised sentences sound logical and precise?

Provide students with a confidence continuum (i.e., 1–5). As needed, model how to demonstrate a level of confidence using the continuum.

Use this Quick Write to check whether students can identify a specific revision move and explain its purpose.

Quick Write

Say these Directions: Today, we focused on making our arguments sound more connected and polished. In your Quick Write, copy one sentence from your essay where you added a transition, then explain the job that transition does in your argument.

• Ask: What is one sentence from your essay where you used a transition, and how does that transition help your argument?

  • One sentence from my essay is “However, while some people argue that school uniforms limit individuality, they actually create a more focused learning environment.” The transition however shows a shift to a counterargument, and while helps introduce a contrast. Together, they make my argument clearer by showing I am responding to an opposing view.

• Say: When I reflect on my own revision, I do not just say, “I added a transition.” I name the exact sentence, the exact phrase, and the job it does for the reader. For example, I might notice that I added however to shift from a counterclaim to a rebuttal. That tells me my revision was purposeful, not random. This kind of reflection helps me keep making smart choices as I finish polishing my essay.

Instruct students to reread their full argument essay drafts once, from beginning to end. Students should complete the following:

• Underline three transitions you used with intention.

• Circle at least one place that still needs smoother phrasing so you are ready for the final proofreading and polishing stage of the writing process.