Lesson 44: Argument Essay: Peer Review and Revision

Place students with a shoulder partner. Invite them to keep their drafts closed for the first minute so they focus on the purpose of peer review, not just their own paper.

• Say: We have practiced proofreading our own sentences by checking who was doing the action and making sure our writing stayed clear and formal. Today, we are taking that same editing work into peer review so a partner can help us notice what we still miss on our own. This matters because our final performance task asks us to make a strong argument about barriers to opportunity, and strong arguments need clear language as well as strong evidence.

Turn and Talk

Say these Directions: Think about the difference between someone reading for enjoyment and someone reading to help improve a piece of writing. Turn to your partner and talk about what an editor looks for that a friend might miss.

• Ask: What is the difference between a friend reading your essay and an editor reading your essay?

  • A friend might just tell me if they liked my essay, but an editor looks for what needs to change. An editor checks if my claim makes sense, if my evidence really supports it, and if any sentences are confusing.

• Say: Partner A, share first for 30 seconds. Partner B, build on that idea for 30 seconds.

Connection to Today’s Learning

Now, students are ready to practice a peer-review protocol that helps feedback stay specific, respectful, and useful.

Explain that today’s discussion protocol is not a debate. It is a structured partner conversation where one student reflects back on what the writing is doing and then responds with one clear suggestion for revision.

Practicing Reflect-and-Respond Dialogue

Say these Directions: In this protocol, one partner reads like an editor and gives feedback in two moves. First, the editor reflects what the writer is already doing. Second, the editor responds with one specific suggestion that will make the essay clearer, stronger, or more academic.

Read this commentary related to Mama’s line beginning with “Them houses they put up” and ending with “other houses.”

Target Sentences

Hansberry writes, “Them houses they put up for colored in them areas way out all seem to cost twice as much as other houses” (p. 93). This quote shows housing was bad. But by moving to Clybourne Park, courage was shown. The housing system is still bad for some people. To make it better, paying rent on time should count on your record.

Now, read these pairs of phrases:

• Ask: What changes when we move from casual language to academic language?

  • The idea sounds more exact and more serious. Instead of just saying something is bad, academic language explains what kind of problem it is, like inequitable or unjust.

Teach: How to Read Like an Editor

• Say: When I read like an editor, I am not just asking, “Did I like this?” I am asking, “Is the writer saying exactly what they mean?”

• Say: If a student writes, “This quote shows housing was bad,” I notice that the word bad is too casual and too general. I can revise that thought to “This quotation demonstrates that Black families faced inequitable housing costs because segregation limited fair access to neighborhoods.” Now the language is more precise, and the reasoning is clearer.

• Say: I also check sentence clarity by asking, “Who is doing the action?” If I see a sentence like “By moving to Clybourne Park, courage was shown,” I know the actor is unclear, so I would revise it to “By choosing to move to Clybourne Park, the Younger family demonstrated courage.”

Say these Directions: Listen to how an editor uses the protocol out loud: Reflect first, then respond. After you listen, you will practice one entry move with a partner.

• Say: I might say, “I notice your claim is clear because you explain that unequal housing costs limited opportunity.”

• Say: Then I would add, “One place to strengthen your language is the sentence where you say the system was bad; you could revise that to say the system was inequitable.” If I find a confusing opening phrase, I would say, “I am not sure who is doing the action in this sentence.” Then I would suggest a revision: “You could place the actor right after the opening phrase.”

• Say: That keeps my feedback respectful, specific, and useful. Good editors name the exact sentence or paragraph they mean so the writer knows what to revise.

Say these Directions: With your partner, practice one editor sentence starter. Partner A will reflect one strength. Partner B will respond with one specific revision idea. Keep your voice respectful and precise. Begin.

• Ask: Which part of the editor comment makes it helpful?

  • The helpful part is that it names the exact problem and gives a possible fix. Saying “Change bad to inequitable in your second body paragraph” helps more than just saying “Make it better.”

Display these protocol stems for students to use:

• I notice your argument is clear when you say ___.

• One place your evidence supports your claim is ___.

• A sentence that could sound more academic is ___.

• I am confused by the sentence beginning ___ because ___.

• You could revise that sentence by ___.

Connection to Today’s Learning

Students will now use this same reflect-and-respond structure to review real drafts and help each other prepare for final submission.

Part A: Read, Reflect, Respond (W.7.5) (15 minutes)

Pair students intentionally. Each student should have a full draft, not just notes. Remind partners that peer review is about helping the writer improve the essay, not rewriting the essay for them.

• Say: Strong peer reviewers start by finding what the writer is trying to argue, and then they test whether the evidence and reasoning really support that claim.

• Say: I want to hear partners say the writer’s claim back in their own words before giving advice. That move checks understanding and lowers the chance of random feedback.

• Say: After that, the reviewer should point to one exact place where the argument is strong and one exact place where it needs revision.

• Say: Specific feedback is more useful than a long list of small comments.

• Say: Today, your job is to help your partner make the essay clearer, stronger, and more convincing.

Reflect-and-Respond Dialogue

Say these Directions: Exchange drafts with your partner. Partner A will read the introduction and one body paragraph aloud while Partner B follows along as an editor and records notes on the Peer Feedback Form. Focus first on claim, evidence and reasoning, counterclaim and rebuttal, and transitions.

Display the checklist criteria on the form:

• Is the claim clearly stated and arguable?

• Is the claim supported by relevant evidence and reasoning?

• Is there a counterclaim and rebuttal?

• Are transitions used to connect ideas?

• Is the language formal, academic, precise and concise throughout?

• Are the ideas expressed precisely?

• Are there any sentences that are confusing, incomplete, or dangling?

• Is the language formal and academic throughout? =

• Are the claims and evidence written in third-person not first-person?

• Is the tone consistent throughout?

Say these Directions: Partner B, begin by reflecting one strength, and then respond with one revision suggestion. When you finish, the writer may ask one clarifying question.

• Ask: What is one place where your partner’s claim is supported by evidence and reasoning?

  • Your second body paragraph supports your claim well because you use a statistic from your article and then explain how it affects families in low-income neighborhoods. That reasoning helps the evidence connect back to your main argument.

Completed sample notes from the Peer Feedback Form:

Part B: Edit for Formal Language and Clarity (L.7.1.c, W.7.5) (15 minutes)

Explain the next stage of peer editing: Students will review for formal academic language, transitions, and ambiguous sentences and will give clear feedback.

Teach: Editing for Formal Language and Clarity

• Say: Editors do not stop at big ideas. After I check the argument, I zoom in on language and sentence clarity because confusing sentences can weaken a strong point.

• Say: I look for casual words, unclear actor-action relationships, and sentences that begin with a phrase but do not tell me who is doing the action.

• Say: Then I choose the one or two revisions that will matter most, because writers can actually use focused feedback. Useful editing is prioritized, not overwhelming.

• Say: Your goal in this round is to help your partner leave with a clear plan for final edits.

Reflect-and-Respond Dialogue

Say these Directions: This time, read for formal academic language, transitions, and sentences that are confusing, incomplete, or redundant. On the Peer Feedback Form, star one sentence that needs a clearer actor-action relationship or more academic language, and write a revision suggestion your partner can use.

When you give feedback, name the exact sentence or phrase. Then explain why it is confusing or too casual.

• Ask: What is one sentence-level revision your partner should make first, and why?

  • I think you should revise the sentence that starts with “By not funding schools equally” because it does not say who is doing the action. You could write, “By not funding schools equally, state policies create inequitable learning conditions,” which makes the actor clear and sounds more academic.

Provide students with a confidence continuum (i.e., 1–5). As needed, model how to demonstrate a level of confidence using the continuum.

Scoring Rubric

Consult the Rubric on the Second Page of the Performance Task Handout

Quick Write

Say these Directions: In your Journal, note one piece of feedback your partner gave you, and explain how you plan to address it in your final draft. Name the paragraph or sentence you plan to revise so your plan is specific.

• Ask: What is one piece of feedback your partner gave you, and how will you address it in your final draft?

  • My partner said my counterclaim paragraph needs a clearer transition into the rebuttal. I plan to revise the first sentence of that paragraph by adding “However” and then explaining more clearly why the evidence shows the barrier is built into a policy, not just personal.

Optional Sentence Starter:

My partner suggested that I ___, so I plan to ___.

• Say: Today’s peer review matters because revision is part of strong argument writing, not something extra at the end. When you use peer feedback well, your final essay becomes clearer, more formal, and more convincing. That helps you speak up with evidence about fairness and opportunity.

• Ask: Which peer-review phrase or tool helped you most today?

  • The phrase “I am confused by the sentence beginning . . .” helped me most because it made the feedback specific without sounding rude.

Students should complete their final argument essay. Instruct students to review the Peer Feedback Form and make the revisions that were prioritized today before submitting the final draft.