Lesson 35: The Outsiders, Narrative Writing, Part 7

Have students take out their copies of The Outsiders and the Timeline graphic organizer they completed for homework.

• Lesson 34 Homework: Fill out the Timeline graphic organizer with the events in the novel you think are most important to the plot. Indicate the chapter in which each event happens.

Retell & Paraphrase Partner Check

Explain that students will take turns sharing important events they included on their timelines. Then they will discuss the author’s use of pacing.

Say these Directions: Take turns paraphrasing three of the important events you included on your timeline. Explain why you felt they were important to the plot.

• • The event in Chapter 1 when Ponyboy gets jumped by the Socs sets the conflict between the greasers and the Socs in motion. The event in Chapter 4 when Johnny kills Bob makes the conflict more intense and raises the stakes, and it sets off a chain of events that impacts the rest of the book. The rumble in Chapter 9 is important because it gives the greasers “victory” over the Socs and causes some of them to reexamine if this victory was worth the conflict.

• Ask: Were these events paced quickly or slowly? How did the author’s pacing make it easy or difficult for you to follow the plot?

  • The events I chose were paced very quickly. At times, this made it difficult to follow the plot because I wasn’t prepared for characters’ fates to change the way they did. I thought I could guess what might happen next, but then I had to rethink my predictions.

Connection to Today’s Learning

• Say: The author’s use of pacing and other narrative craft techniques impacted the way you understood the book as a reader. As you revise your writing today, think about how you can make your ideas clearer to your readers.

Language Study: Revision and Editing

Say these Directions: Let’s practice editing a paragraph to make the writing more precise. Today, we'll focus on making sure modifiers clearly refer to the right subject and combining ideas to improve flow and clarity.

Review a Sample Paragraph: Present the following sample paragraph and read it aloud.

I thought about how my friend Johnny acted during the time right before he died. He loved the gang like his family. We knew this because seeing us, lying in the hospital, cheered him up, and he asked for a book. It reminded him of the time growing closer that he and I spent in the church. We brought him the book visiting him. Called a hero, his name was in all the papers for saving the children. Being thought of as a hero made him happy too.

Practice Sentence-Level Revision

Review that one way to write clear sentences is to make sure readers understand any modifiers, or words and phrases used to describe or add more detail to another word/phrase in the sentence.

Correct Misplaced and Dangling Modifiers: Draw students’ attention to the sentence We brought him the book visiting him.

• Say: The narrator and his friend are visiting Johnny. The way the sentence is phrased, it seems like the book is visiting Johnny, since the modifier appears after book.

• Ask: How can we rewrite the sentence so the meaning of the phrase “visiting him” is clear?

  • We visited him and brought him the book.

• Ask: Do you notice any other sentences with modifiers that might be misplaced?

Guide students to identify the sentences “Dying so young, his world was not always a good place”; “We knew this because seeing us, lying in the hospital, cheered him up, and he asked for a book”; “Called a hero, his name was in all the papers for saving the children.”

Point out the sentence beginning “Dying so young...”

• Ask: Who does the phrase “dying so young” describe?

  • Johnny

• Say: Notice that Johnny is not described, by name or by a pronoun, anywhere else in the sentence. This is called a dangling modifier. These modifiers describe a word or phrase not included in the sentence.

Point out the halves of the sentence before and after the comma.

• Ask: Is the modifier otherwise connected to the rest of the sentence? Are these ideas logically related?

  • no

As needed, clarify that although both ideas are true, they do not have a clear connection.

Have students work in pairs to correct both sentences, correcting modifiers and noting connections between ideas, as needed. They can reword or rephrase other sentence elements as needed.

• Johnny died young. He lived in a harsh world. Seeing us cheered him up as he lay in the hospital, and he asked for a book. All the papers called him a hero for saving the children.

Explain that students will revise the rest of the sentences for clarity and redundancy, or repetition.

Say these Directions: Work with your partner to revise the paragraph so that each sentence includes ideas that are connected or related. Additionally, delete any sentences, and phrases within sentences, that repeat information unnecessarily.

Clarify that students may change the wording of the sentences they already revised for paragraph flow.

• I thought about how my friend Johnny acted before he died. Johnny died young. He lived in a harsh world. But he loved the gang like family, and when we visited him in the hospital, he cheered up. The book reminded him of the time we spent growing closer in the church. He was also happy to be thought of as a hero, since his name was in all the papers for saving the children.

Revise for Word Choice

Have partners review their revised paragraphs and circle words/phrases that are vague, imprecise, or could be clearer. (Ex. sad, happy, good, because of his life)

Say these Directions: Choose words or phrases that have a similar meaning but express the idea more specifically. Think about the connotations of the words you choose and how they can communicate important ideas in the sentence.

Johnny often felt hopeless because of the violence that surrounded him. Being thought of as a hero filled him with pride.

• Say: Explain to a partner how revising and editing the paragraph helped you to understand the importance of word choice and sentence clarity.

Connection to Today’s Learning

• Say: No one gets their writing perfect the first time. As you revise and edit today, you may find sentences that aren’t as clear as they could be, ideas that are repetitive, or words that need to be replaced. Remember what you learned from this exercise as you revisit your own writing.

Part A: Review Narrative Elements and Choose a Revision Focus (W.7.3.a, W.7.3.b, W.7.3.c, W.7.3.d, W.7.3.e, W.7.4, W.7.5) (15 minutes)

Check with students to confirm which of their previous writing assignments they are choosing for revision and editing. Ensure students have individual copies of their most recent work on this assignment.

Collaborative Idea Board

Present a physical and digital chart divided into sections, such as a table. Provide markers and/or sticky notes or digital tools so students can edit the chart.

Guide students to recall the elements of narrative writing. As a group, label each section with a narrative craft element (Ex. pacing, theme, perspective, dialogue, narration, descriptive language, sentence structure, introduction, and conclusion).

As needed, distinguish between craft elements and writing strategies (e.g., the PLACE strategy).

Say these Directions: Think about the ways that authors use each craft element to make a story clear, powerful, and effective. For instance, one way that authors can pace a story for maximum impact is by waiting to reveal certain information; this builds suspense. I’m going to add this tip to the chart in the pacing category.

Model paraphrasing the tip (Wait to reveal information; build suspense) and adding it to the pacing section of the chart.

• Ask: What is another way that writers can use pacing effectively?

  • Authors can slow down to show characters’ thoughts during important moments. The author could pause the action to show what the characters think.

Paraphrase student suggestions and add them to the chart.

Have students work independently or in pairs to continue adding their own tips to the chart in each category.

As needed, phrase each category as a question students can answer.

• Ask: How do you build a theme? How do you show a character’s perspective? How do you write strong dialogue?

  • Dialogue: give each character a unique way of speaking; Perspective: share information that helps the reader understand what matters to a character; Descriptive language: use sensory details; Theme: think about how the theme influences the characters; Introduction: establish your narrative point of view right away; Conclusion: show the effect of events on the character; Narration: choose details that demonstrate a narrator’s unique voice

  • Dialogue: reveal relationships, emotions, or conflict through what characters say and how they speak; Pacing: slow down important moments with description or reflection or speed up less important events to move the story forward; Description: include sensory details and precise language that help readers picture characters, settings, and events clearly.

After several ideas have been recorded in each category, have students discuss any patterns. Allow them to ask clarifying questions.

• Ask: Which tips stand out in each category?

• Ask: Do you think any tips belong in a different category, or in more than one category? Which ones?

  • Note that the same tip, or a slightly reworded version, could be used for more than one category. Ex. Sharing information that helps the reader understand what matters to a character could be a way to build both perspective and theme.

Keep the chart available for student reference during the rest of the lesson.

Discuss Purpose and Audience

Explain that as students revise their work, they will also think about their purpose and their audience.

• Say: A purpose is the reason why an author writes a narrative. The purpose of narrative writing is generally to tell a story. But authors usually have more specific purposes beyond keeping readers engaged in a good story. They may want to describe how people live in a certain place, to show how characters respond to events, to describe a relationship between two characters, or to send a message about a theme.

Clarify that authors can, and often do, write with more than one purpose in mind.

• Ask: What do you think one of Hinton’s purposes was in The Outsiders? Why do you think this?

  • I think one of her purposes was to send a message about the negative impact of stereotypes. Ponyboy describes the negative impact of having other people judge him as a “hood.”

• Say: Your purpose will affect how you write. For instance, if your purpose is to describe a changing relationship between two characters, you might include a lot of dialogue. If your purpose is to show how one character feels about a place, you might include descriptive details and inner thoughts, but no dialogue.

• Say: Writers use narrative techniques such as dialogue, pacing, and description to develop experiences, events, and characters. As you choose revision goals today, think about which narrative technique could strengthen your narrative most effectively. Notice how authors sometimes slow down important moments with detailed descriptions or dialogue and speed through less important events to keep the story moving.

Display and briefly discuss mentor examples from The Outsiders that show dialogue, pacing, and description.

• Dialogue: “ ‘You really killed him, huh, Johnny?’ ”

• Pacing: The author slows down important scenes, such as the church fire or the rumble, by describing characters’ thoughts, reactions, and actions moment by moment.

• Description: Hinton uses detailed descriptions of settings, expressions, and movement to help readers understand mood and character perspective.

Explain that authors also think about the readers they have in mind—in other words, their audience.

• Say: You already have experience communicating to different audiences. When you write an assignment to turn in to a teacher, you write differently than you would if you were sending a message to a friend. And you know that a book written for young children, for example, would be very different than a book written for adults about the same topic.

• Ask: Who do you think Hinton’s intended audience was when she wrote The Outsiders? Why do you think this?

  • I think her audience was teenage readers. Her main characters are teenagers, and she centers their perspectives, not those of the adult characters.

Instruct students to think of their classmates as their intended audience—young, informed readers who want to learn more about the characters—when they revise.

Select Revision Focuses and Set Goals

Briefly review the elements on the narrative chart.

Say these Directions: Today, you will choose three narrative elements that you want to focus on in revision, and you will set a goal for each element. Think of goals that will lead to some significant revision—you don’t need to rewrite the whole piece, but you should do more than change a few words here and there. You will revise independently even if you wrote your original piece with a partner. You’ll start by writing a sentence summarizing your purpose for the narrative, and you will choose a theme to develop.

Provide the following sentence frames for students to complete. Review that they are setting a purpose for the narrative—this is separate from their purposes for revision, but it will help them decide their purposes for revision.

• My purpose is to describe_________________.

  • My purpose is to describe the changing relationship between Ponyboy and Darry.

• The theme I want to develop is_________________.

  • If students built their original piece around a theme, such as with the assignment in Lessons 31–32, they can choose to keep developing this theme. However, if they think another theme is more relevant to their purpose, they can change it if needed.

  • If students did not build their original piece around a theme, suggest they make theme development one of their goals in revision.

Give students time to choose their elements and record their goals. Encourage them to make goals as specific as possible.

• SAMPLE GOALS:

  • Revise each line of dialogue to reveal something new about a character.

  • Revise sentences that describe actions and edit out unnecessary details to pace the story more quickly.

  • Reveal an important piece of information later in the narrative to build suspense.

  • Add details to show how one character’s perspective conflicts with another character’s perspective of the same event.

  • Add at least two sentences of narration that connect to the story’s theme.

  • Add at least two lines of dialogue to show a different character’s perspective.

  • Revise the introductory sentence to establish a context and point of view.

  • Add at least two examples of sensory detail to portray the setting.

  • Revise the concluding sentence to show the effect on the character more clearly.

  • Edit each verb and adjective to be more descriptive and precise.

  • Strengthen dialogue so each conversation reveals something important about a character or relationship.

  • Slow down an important moment with description or inner thoughts to build tension or emotion.

  • Revise descriptions to include sensory details and precise language that help readers picture the scene clearly.

If students need more support, display these and/or similar sample goals and have students choose three from the list.

Provide students with a confidence continuum (i.e., 1–5). As needed, model how to demonstrate a level of confidence using the continuum.

Part B: Revise and Edit (W.7.3.a, W.7.3.b, W.7.3.c, W.7.3.d, W.7.3.e, W.7.4, W.7.5, L.7.3.a) (15 minutes)

Transition students into independent writing by having them reread their original draft and identify areas for revision. Have them keep their purpose and theme in mind as they revise.

Revise Your Writing

Give students time to revise.

Say these Directions: First, focus on your three revision goals. Then edit for any grammatical errors, such as sentence structure errors. After that, make any other revisions and edits you think would make your piece stronger. Finally, write a sentence or two that explains why you chose your revision goals.

• Optional sentence starter: I made these changes because …

(edits bolded)

My purpose is to describe how Soda felt a bond with the horse, like it was a member of his family. I want to develop a theme of the importance of connection.

ORIGINAL PARAGRAPH: I adored my horse when I was a kid. I was always over at the stables petting and riding him. Mickey Mouse wasn’t officially mine since we could barely afford a house big enough for all us boys. Room for a pet? Forget about it. But I felt like Mickey belonged to me, and I bet he felt I belonged to him too. He sure treated me like a pesky little brother would. He’d gnaw on my shirtsleeve until spit ran down my arm. I didn’t mind. Now Mickey’s chewing on someone else’s arm, probably, because somebody bought him and took him away. I don’t normally cry, but that night I sobbed until my head ached. That was when I learned that things you love can’t always stay in your life.

REVISED PARAGRAPH: Call me horse-crazy, but all I wanted to do when I was thirteen was hang out at the stables with my horse Mickey Mouse. He wasn’t officially mine since we could barely afford a house big enough for all us boys. Room for a pet? Forget about it. But I felt like Mickey belonged to me, and I bet he felt I belonged to him too. That horse was a pesky little kid brother, always chasing me around, wanting in on the fun. He’d gnaw on my shirtsleeve until spit ran down my arm. I thought, Aw, that’s how he marks his favorite humans, he chews on them. Now Mickey’s chewing on someone else’s arm, probably, because somebody bought him and took him away before my fourteenth birthday. I don’t normally cry, but that night I sobbed until my head ached. That was when I learned that things you love can’t always stay in your life. But once you love them, you can’t ever stop. I’d still take a ride in Mickey Mouse’s saddle over a ride in the tuffest car any day.

I made these changes because I wanted to develop the narrator’s perspective through a conversational voice, and I wanted the conclusion to reflect the theme. I also wanted the sequence of events to be more precise, so I added the narrator’s age.

If time allows, transition into a brief round of peer feedback.

Peer Feedback and Conferencing

Have partners explain their revision goals and their purpose to their partner. Then have partners use the Praise-Question-Polish method to offer feedback.

Praise: How did the revision improve the writing? What worked best? Point to a specific example.

Question: What is one question you have for the writer? It could be a question about the content of the narrative (plot, characters, perspectives) or about the writer’s revision process.

Polish: What is one detail that you think would help the writer better achieve their purpose? Identify a specific detail, such as a word, phrase, sentence, or idea.

• I thought you conveyed the narrator’s connection to his horse really well when he compares the horse to a “pesky little kid brother.” I wondered if the character’s perspective changed in any other ways after Mickey Mouse was sold—did he start to think differently about his other relationships? I think if you added a description of the narrator riding the horse, you would show their bond more clearly.

Lesson 35 Writing Rubric: Revising & Editing Narrative Writing

Writing prompt: Revise your narrative draft to strengthen voice, pacing, or detail. Then edit for conventions. Annotate at least one revision that shows a meaningful change and explain why it improves the narrative.

Quick Write

Have students discuss this question with a partner.

• Ask: How can thinking about purpose and audience help improve narrative writing?

  • Optional Sentence Starter: Thinking about purpose can ____. Thinking about audience can____.

    • Thinking about purpose can help writing fit together into a well-connected narrative because the writer can make sure each detail develops the purpose. Thinking about audience can help writing be engaging and interesting to its readers.

Instruct students to read Chapter 12 of The Outsiders and take notes in their Journal in response to the following prompt:

• How has Ponyboy changed or grown as a person throughout the novel?