Lesson 44: Reflective Narrative, Peer Review and Revision

Hand out copies of the Performance Task Rubric to each student.

Think-Pair-Share

Say these Directions: Use this rubric to evaluate your personal narrative. Identify parts of your narrative where you think you’ve done well, as well as parts where you need more help. Share your ideas with a partner.

Allow students a few minutes to work with their partner, then reconvene the class and ask students to share their ideas with the class.

• Ask: What part in your narrative do you think you’ve done well, and/or what part needs more work?

  • I feel good about my sensory details and dialogue, but I need to strengthen my author's note. I want to make the connection to The Outsiders more specific and explain more clearly what I learned about belonging.

Explain to students that it is important to revise their writing for clarity by replacing vague language with precise verbs and sensory detail. Discuss examples of weak and strong sentences in preparation of student writing later in the lesson.

Revising for Clarity

Say these Directions: Read the example sentence and think about how you might revise it.

Display the example sentence from the narrative about Marcus cheating on the math test: I walked into the cafeteria after the math test and it was bad and I felt nervous about what Marcus did.

• Ask: This sentence tells readers what happened, but it does not help the reader experience the moment. How can the sentence be improved?

  • The sentence overuses the word “and,” the word “bad” is vague, the emotion “nervous” is only named, and the verb “walked” could be replaced with a more descriptive word.

Display the revised example sentence: I pushed through the cafeteria doors after the math test, and the low hum of whispering voices swelled around me. My hands tightened around my backpack straps as I searched for Marcus near the exit.

• Say: After I read the first version, I knew what happened, but I could not picture it. I would revise it so that the reader feels the tension. In the second version, the weak verb, “walked,” is replaced with “pushed,” and the vague word, “bad,” is replaced with a sound image. By trading the emotion label “nervous” with the body reaction, “ hands tightened,” readers can feel the narrator’s discomfort. Each change makes the moment clearer and more believable.

• Say: The word “pushed” improves the tone. The phrase, “the low hum of whispering voices swelled around me,” explains how the situation felt, instead of just telling the reader it was bad. Finally, by replacing “I felt nervous” with a physical reaction to nervousness, the revision includes more details that the reader can visualize.

• Say: Now, find one sentence in your own draft that needs work, and revise it by adding one precise verb, one sensory detail, and one physical reaction.

• Say: Writers cannot be expected to write everything perfectly in a first draft. Revision is a normal part of the writing process, and now you will get practice revising your own draft to make it clearer and stronger.

Circulate and prompt with questions such as “What exactly made this moment tense?” and “How did your character’s body react?” to ensure that students replace emotion labels with specific, descriptive language.

Have students exchange their drafts with the same partners they worked with during the launch activity. Remind students to keep in mind which parts of the narrative their partner already said they wanted support with. Allow them time to read their partner’s writing and discuss feedback, before students revise their drafts.

Part A: Peer Review (W.7.5) (15 minutes)

Review Coordinate Adjectives

Review Coordinate adjectives by reminding students of when to use a comma between multiple adjectives modifying the same noun.

• Say: A comma goes between coordinate adjectives — adjectives that equally modify the same noun. Use two quick tests to decide:

  • (1) Can you swap the adjectives?

  • (2) Can you insert and between them?

  • If both answers are yes, use a comma.

  • If either answer is no, do not use a comma.

• Ask: Think of a person, place, or object that matters to you. Come up with one sentence describing it using two adjectives before a noun. Apply the swap test and the 'and' test to each pair, and punctuate accordingly. When prompted, share your sentence with your partner. Provide feedback to improve the sentence.

Peer Review

Say these Directions: Exchange your drafts with your partner and complete a peer review. This includes advising on how to improve the writing, not just correcting mistakes.

Model for students how to peer review for content, grammar, and conventions constructively and respectfully.

• Say: For example, I might look at my partner’s writing, then look at the rubric and say: “I think your theme comes across clearly, and your dialogue sounds natural. One place to strengthen the draft is the middle of the story, where you could add more description to connect the dialogue to the theme.”

After students have independently reviewed their peers’ work, instruct them to discuss their feedback.

Provide students with a confidence continuum (i.e., 1–5). As needed, model how to demonstrate a level of confidence using the continuum.

Part B: Revision (W.7.5) (15 minutes)

Say these Directions: Receiving constructive feedback and revising writing accordingly is an important part of the writing process, even for professional writers. Now that you received peer feedback on your narrative, use the remaining time to revise your work.

Keep the Narrative Writing Checklist in mind as you revise:

Students conclude by discussing how their partner’s advice helped them revise their work and what type of changes they made.

Turn and Talk

Say these Directions: Take a moment to consider the prompt, then use the turn and talk routine to discuss your ideas with a partner.

• Ask: How did your partner’s feedback help you improve your narrative and what changes did you make in response?

  • Your suggestion about where to add more dialogue was really helpful. I went back to my outline notes and found a stronger moment to show the conflict, so now the theme comes through more clearly.

Instruct students to think about what they found to be the easiest and most difficult parts of hearing peer feedback and revising their work. Then have students write one sentence in their Journal: “One change I made today was ___ because ___.”

If students have not completed their final draft, tell them to finish it for homework so they can be ready to present it during the next lesson.