Lesson 18: Red, White and Whole, Argumentative Writing, Part 2

Have students take out their drafts from Lesson 17 and place a finger on their claim before speaking.

Turn-and-Talk

Say these Directions: In Lesson 17, you wrote a full argument in response to the question: Is symbolism an effective way for a writer to express the experience of living between two cultures? You took a position, selected evidence from Bhatt and LaRocca, and explained how that evidence relates to your claim. Today we are returning to those drafts to check whether your argument holds together from beginning to end.

A claim is a commitment to your reader. It isn’t enough to state it once in your introduction; every paragraph that follows has to keep honoring it. When a claim fades, the writing drifts into summary: retelling what happens in the poem instead of arguing what it means.

Partner A speaks for 30 seconds, then Partner B speaks for 30 seconds.

• Ask: Where in your draft does your claim feel most alive right now? Where can you actually feel the argument working, and where does it start to fade into description or summary?

  • My claim feels strongest in my introduction because I clearly state that symbolism reveals something about living between two cultures that a direct statement would miss. It probably needs more work in my second body paragraph—I introduced the water imagery from “Two” and quoted it, but I moved on without fully connecting it back to my argument about why symbolism is effective.

Connection to Today’s Learning:

Students have named where their essays are strongest and where the argument needs more support or clarity, so they are ready to learn one concrete revision move before reading a partner’s draft.

Guide students in strengthening body paragraphs by keeping the claim visible through precise analysis. Support students in revising vague statements into clear sentences that name the symbol, use a strong verb, and explain its significance.

Language Study

Say these Directions: Today’s revision move is simple: do not let the claim disappear after the introduction. Remember, strong body paragraphs:

1. Name the symbol

2. Use a precise verb

3. Explain what idea the symbol reveals.

We are going to study one weak sentence and one stronger revision so we can see exactly how that move works.

Display page 1 of Red, White, and Whole by LaRocca and direct students to read this excerpt:

Target Sentence:

“I swim in a river of white skin / I float in a sea of brown skin and black hair and dark eyes.” (p. 1)

Display the following weak analysis sentence and revised sentence:

Weak sentence: This image shows Reha is different.

Revised sentence: LaRocca crafts the river and sea as symbols for Reha’s two cultural worlds, making her bicultural identity feel less like a choice between two places and more like two currents she is always moving between.

Teach: Revision Move: Keep the Claim Visible

• Say: When I read the weak sentence, I notice it isn’t exactly wrong, but it’s too vague to carry an argument. Saying Reha is “different” doesn’t remind the reader what the essay is actually claiming about symbolism.

  • First, I notice that in the revised sentence, I name the symbols directly:river and sea.

  • Then, I use a precise verb: crafts, to show that this is a deliberate authorial choice.

  • Next, I add a clause that explains what those symbols do to the idea of bicultural identity.

• Say: That explanation is what keeps the claim visible instead of letting the paragraph drift into summary.

• Say: As you revise, check that each body paragraph has at least one sentence that does all three things: names the symbol, describes the author’s choice, and explains the significance or effect of that choice.

Connection to Today’s Learning:

Students now have one clear revision move to carry into partner feedback and independent revision.

Learning in Action Part A: Trace the Claim (W.7.5)

Pair students with a partner who can read their draft independently. Students should keep the lens narrow: only read for claim visibility, not for every possible issue.

Collaborative Revision Protocol

Say these Directions: Trade drafts with your partner. Read your partner’s essay for one thing only:

• Does the claim about symbolism stay visible from the introduction through the body paragraphs and conclusion? OR

• Does it disappear or fade in some spots?

As you read, underline one sentence where the claim is clear, put a star beside one place where it fades, and write one specific note before returning the draft.

Use the following feedback stems as you discuss and revise with your partner:

• Your claim stays visible when you __________.

• The claim fades in paragraph __________ because __________.

• A strong next revision would be to __________.

Learning in Action Part B: Revise, Edit, Submit (W.7.5)

Use an example sentence modeled aloud before students return to their own drafts.

Revision Sprint

Display the following weak sentence and revision:

Weak sentence: In “Search for My Tongue,” the speaker says her tongue grows back, and that means she remembers her language.

Stronger revision: Bhatt turns the tongue into a living plant, so the image symbolizes language and identity growing back even after loss.

Teach: Strengthen the Sentence So the Argument Lands

• Say: I want to show you one revision move that makes an argument hit harder. The weak sentence mostly retells what happens, but it does not sound like an essay about symbolism. In the stronger version, I start with a more precise verb: turns, because that shows the poet is making an intentional craft choice.

I also replace the vague phrase, that means, with the more exact word: symbolizes.

Then I use the phrase: language and identity growing back even after loss so the sentence carries both evidence and commentary instead of stopping at summary.

• Say: When you revise today, look for one sentence that only tells what happens and turn it into a sentence that explains what the symbol does in your argument.

Display the following writing model if needed for support and guidance:

One reason symbolism is especially effective in “Two” is that LaRocca makes Reha’s identity feel physical instead of abstract. When Reha says she “swim[s] in a river of white skin” (p. 1) and “float[s] in a sea of brown skin and black hair” (p. 1), the river and sea symbolize the two cultural worlds surrounding her. These are not just descriptions of bodies. The water imagery conveys motion and pressure, which helps readers feel how Reha is constantly carried between identities instead of fully settled in one. Because the symbol stays connected to the idea of bicultural identity, the paragraph keeps the essay’s claim visible from start to finish.

Say these Directions: Revise your argumentative essay in response to the feedback you received from your partner. First, revise at least one body paragraph so the claim about symbolism stays visible through stronger wording or sentence structure. Then edit your full draft using the following checklist:

Display this editing checklist:

• I can find my claim about symbolism in every paragraph.

• I named the symbol or image directly instead of saying this or it too often.

• I introduced evidence by explaining what was happening in the text, not just giving a title.

• I revised at least one sentence so that evidence and commentary work together more clearly.

• I replaced vague words with precise words like symbolizes, reveals, conveys, intensifies, or regrowth.

• I checked grammar and syntax for complete sentences, clear pronouns, and smooth sentence flow.

• I checked capitalization, punctuation, and spelling of unit words such as symbolism, identity, bicultural, and commentary.

Lesson 18 Writing Rubric: Literary Analysis Essay — Revise & Strengthen the Claim

Writing prompt: Revise your literary analysis essay so that the claim about symbolism or imagery remains clear and visible throughout all body paragraphs. Strengthen vague commentary, sharpen evidence connections, and edit for clarity and correctness.

• Say: As you revise, check your work for these three things:

1. Did I keep my claim visible?

2. Did I explain what the symbols mean?

3. Did I edit at least one sentence for stronger wording and clearer syntax?

Provide students with a confidence continuum (i.e., 1–5). As needed, model how to demonstrate a level of confidence using the continuum.

Have students reflect on specific revisions and edits they made to their draft.

Quick Write

Say these Directions: Before you turn in your work, take one minute to look back over your draft.

• Ask: What are two specific changes you made today, and how did each one strengthen your argument? Include:

  • • one revision that improves your claim about symbolism

  • one revision that improves grammar, syntax, or word choice

Optional Sentence Starter:

One revision that made my symbolism argument stronger was __________ because __________.

• One change I made was in my second body paragraph. At first, I wrote, “This image shows the speaker remembers her language,” but I revised it to: “Bhatt turns the tongue into a growing plant, so the image symbolizes language and identity returning after loss.” This change made my claim about symbolism visible again instead of sounding like a summary. My second change was editing a run-on sentence in my conclusion, so the idea was easier to follow.

Instruct students to reread their final essay and respond to the following prompt in their Journals:

• What is the one part of your argument you feel least confident about? Explain your reasoning.